...a time to share stories...

Okay fellow teachers out there...Anyone have any funny stories to share?  If you have a story that made you laugh in the classroom this week, sometime this semester, or during the early days of teaching, send them my way!
While I am on break from school, I am out of stories.  Please share with us!
I will post your story, as long as it is funny and not incriminating, & you can decide if you want to be identified as the author or not.
It can be as short as one line or as long as one page--you decide!
Come on...It's a time to laugh...

...the rumors continue...

For some reason students seem intrigued by my personal life & this year is apparently the year for rumors to be spread around the building.  I mean, it's nothing malicious (that I've heard anyway), but I keep getting questions that start with, Is it true that...  Or being told, I heard that you...


Today I was walking through the hallway during a passing period and a girl was walking next to me & said, Miss O'Brien, (insert alias for student here) Chad told me the news.


Me:  What?  Chad who?


Girl:  Chad Jones.


Me:  Chad Jones?  What did he tell you?


Girl:  He told me you guys are engaged.  She has a smirk on her face.  Chad is a sophomore.

Me:  He told you what?


Girl:  He said you two are engaged!


Me:  What the heck?  He never even asked me!  How can he go around telling people we are engaged?


The girl with this breaking news walked away chuckling.  I'm not sure I even know the last time I saw Chad at school, let alone had a conversation with him.

What will they come up with next?

Hopefully the next one isn't so crazy...or creepy.

...teacher's pet...

Me:  There is an example on page 110...Thanks to everyone who is already taking out their book and turning to page 110 to look at the example.  Man, I really like you guys a lot...


Student 1 (with her book out, on page 110, looking for the example):  She loves me!


Student 2 (no book in sight):  She loves me not.

...corporate takedown...

It was a typical Monday afternoon at work.

Before last hour, I was standing outside my classroom, as usual.

A student stopped by to chat before going to his class, as usual.

Visitor:  Miss O'Brien!  You look like you are ready to fight!


Me:  Huh?  What do you mean?


Visitor:  You're wearing fightin' clothes!


Me:  Fighting clothes?


Visitor:  Yeah, you look like some business woman ready to take somebody down!


Turns out black high heel boots, gray dress pants, black sweater, blue fashion scarf, & big silver earrings are fighting clothes.

All this time I thought fighting clothes were tennis shoes, athletic shorts, ripped t-shirts, and boxing gloves.

What do I know?

...germ-ex...

Students are working on an assignment.

A student is smelling his hands.

I look at him as if to say, what are you doing?


He says, This is the first time I've used Germ-ex before lunch.


Then he smells his hands again and begins working on the assignment.

...I like turkey...

Me:  So, if you had to pick only one traditional Thanksgiving food, what would you want to eat?


Student 1:  Turkey

Student 2:  Tamales

Me:  What?  No, that is not traditional Thanksgiving food.  Try again.

Student 3:  What?  It's traditional for him!

Me:  It might be traditional for him, but that isn't what I asked.  Tamales are not traditional Thanksgiving food.  Try again.

Student 2:  You'll have to come back to me.

Student 3:  Turkey

Student 2:  What?  Turkey?  Who eats turkey for Thanksgiving?

He was completely serious.

I was speechless, so I moved on.

Luckily one student said stuffing.  He is my new favorite.  Another student responded to his answer.

Stuffing Hater:  I hate stuffing, and pumpkin pie.

Me:  WHAT?  (evil look)  I don't think I can talk to you any more.

So I didn't for at least 15 minutes.

I continued to make my way through the room.  This turned out to be a way more challenging question than I anticipated.  In the midst of a few more traditional answers, I received French Fries.

Me:  Nope, try again.

Fry lover:  Turkey fries?

Me:  Nope.

I moved on.

Random student:  Hey didn't you forget her? (pointing to Stuffing Hater)

Me:  No, I didn't forget her.

Other random student:  She didn't forget her, she's not talking to her because she doesn't like stuffing or pumpkin pie.

Last student:  Meatballs

What the heck?

Stuffing Hater:  Well, I don't really hate pumpkin pie...

A few minutes later, my new favorite student (you know, the stuffing lover) said:  Miss O'Brien, I like your earrings.

Me:  Thanks.

Favorite student:  How much do they weigh?


Me:  Uhhh, I don't know.  I've never weighed them.

Favorite student:  They've gotta be like 2 . 5 pounds each.

Me:  I don't think so.

Favorite student:  That's like how much I bench.


Oh, by the way, Student 2 (the tamale lover) ended up going with pumpkin pie.  I didn't want to leave you hanging.

...bake sale...

A group of students at my school is working hard to raise an extremely large amount of money to buy Christmas presents through the local food pantry.  For a fundraiser, they asked the staff if we would be willing to make baked good for a bake sale during lunches.  I said I would make something & checked the box requesting a student pick it up on Monday.

So last weekend I made some classic chocolate chip cookies.  I thought about doing something more elaborate, but went with something that didn't require purchasing any of the ingredients.  I already had everything for chocolate chip cookies.

Well, no one picked up the two plates stacked high with cookies on Monday...

Wednesday a student apologetically came to pick up my baked goods.  I gave her one plate of cookies.  The other may or may not have been sampled by me, another teacher, and a student as I waited for pick up.

Today the student commented on how good my cookies were...Then she confessed that she tried one on her way down to the cafeteria, planning to pay for it.  When she discovered how tasty they were, she decided to buy them all.  How many other bake sale contributers can say they had all of their cookies sold to one person before they made it to the table?

Well...all that were left anyway.  Good thing she picked them up when she did!

...I pledge allegiance to...

I was in a small room with 19 students and 5 other adults.

The announcements came on and we were told to rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.  We all looked around the room and saw no flag.  So, one adult called out, everyone look at Lisa and pretend she is the flag.

Very obediently, everyone immediately turned to me, put their hands on their hearts, and recited the pledge. Eye contact was a bit odd...As they looked at me, I didn't really know who or what to look at.  I kept my eyes moving, as to avoid locking in on one person.

Weird.  I mean, I look nothing like the American flag.  I didn't have a bit of red on me!

...suspension...

A student was wearing suspenders at school today.

He walked into a room with a few faculty & staff members.

He said, I can't believe you let me get suspended!


Later I told this story to some other staff members.  They thought I was telling a joke.  Nope.  This really happened.

...ninja...

This was on a student's paper today.

"This is a homework ninja.  He protects any & all assignments, quizzes, tests, & essays from bad grades. :)  (He also likes cookies.)"

Should I bring in cookies in case she gets bad grades?  I mean, it would be for self-defense, right?

...drawing pictures...

Whenever I give my students a vocabulary quiz, I have them draw a picture on the back so that they stay quiet and don't disrupt other people.

Usually I randomly ask four different students to name 1) an animal, 2) another animal, 3) a place, 4) an activity.  Then I tell them that is what they will draw.  If they don't want to draw, that's fine.  They can write a story about it.

Recently I gave my students a quiz.  The conglomeration came to a panda and white tiger playing football in Hawaii.  I even drew my version on the board while they were finishing up.  It was pretty bad.  But I think it was better than this...

"Picture need a microscope to see" [sic]
arrow pointing to dots

...I guess I shouldn't judge until I pull out that microscope.

...old...

Students were trying to figure out how old I am, which I wouldn't tell them.  I've got to have some mystery, right?

They actually think I'll answer questions like, When did you graduate?  That's just insulting to think I will fall for it.

In the midst of guesses and questions:

Student 1:  Do you know my parents?

Me:  I don't know...

Student 1:  Because some teachers had my parents as students...

Me:  Are you suggesting that I taught your parents?

Student 2:  My armpit is kind of damp.

...last name...

Student is sitting in his desk (which is next to mine), repeating his last name over and over.

Me:  Practicing?


Student:  It's a weird last name.


Me:  silent laughter

Student:  If you say it slowly it will really mess you up.


He says his last name slowly, to demonstrate the weirdness.

Does it really mess you up when you say your last name slowly?

---------------------------------

A few minutes later he asked me if I'd ever poked myself in the eye.  Apparently it's already happened to him twice in my classroom.  Another student confirmed that she has witnessed it...both times.

...ceremony...

So the greatest day of our lives (as a PLC) occurred last week.  We were honored with an incredible award.  None of us ever really thought we would receive such recognition.  We were speechless.  We were so excited that we called an unscheduled meeting to have a mini-ceremony.  I even made cookies.

We were given a Dundie by another teacher.

Go ahead and Google it if you don't know what it means.  (Hint:  Season 2, Episode 1)

For those of you who do know what it means, you understand how appropriate it is for us (if you have been keeping up with this blog recently).

Measurements of the Dundie were taken with a nearby ruler.  Rumor has it that one of my fellow PLC members is going to build a case for it out of plexi-glass.

...i want it that way...

During the passing periods we play music in the hallways.  I usually find myself singing along to the songs, which invites interesting comments from students as they walk by.  Today the song that was playing during one passing period was I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys.  Of course I was singing.  As a student entered my classroom, she noticed I was singing along enthusiastically and said, I don't even know this song.  I've never heard it in my life.  Man, am I really that old?  Shoot.  Well, when she is my age, she will be rocking out to Justin Bieber and teenagers won't be able to sing along with her...


And I was like, baby, baby, baby, oooh...

...oops...

Apparently for some reason the video for ...differentiated instruction... wasn't working.  I think it is working now.  Enjoy.

...tie down drugs...

This week is Red Ribbon Week.  It's all about encouraging students to be drug-free.  So, to bring attention to the cause, we have theme days, just like Homecoming Spirit Week:  pajama day (put drugs to bed), jersey day (sports, not snorts), etc.

Today's theme:  Tie Down Drugs, Wear a Tie

So, many students and staff were sporting their drug-free spirit by wearing ties.

One particular student didn't just wear a tie, but he wore a red tie.  He didn't just wear a red tie, but he wore a suit.  He didn't just wear a suit, but he wore a red suit.  That's right, red tie, vest, jacket (past his knees by the way), pants, and shoes.  All red.

A teacher sees this student in the hallway outside of my classroom during a passing period.

Teacher:  I had a Christmas present that looked like you once.


Love it.

...bellwork...

So I start each class with an assignment that students work on right away when the bell rings.  I call it bellwork.  Genius, I know.  Most of my colleagues follow this same procedure.

Another teacher teaches the same class as I do, so we try to make sure we are doing the same things.  A new quarter just began, and we are beginning with a new type of bellwork assignment.  He came up with the idea, and was working on it over the weekend.  During our prep hour today he came into my classroom and asked me a question in regards to it.  I asked him if we could work on it my classroom, or if I needed to go to his.  He began walking towards his room.  I took that to mean we needed to go to his classroom.

So, I put my activities on hold, and followed him.  He went straight to his computer and began opening up a file.  It was a picture of his cute, little children.  So, we took a moment to chat about their cuteness & he changed his desktop from a somewhat frightening picture of one son, to this uber-cute picture of both.  Then he started messing with things on the desktop, & I asked what he needed me to look at for the bellwork assignment.

His response:  Oh, it's in my car.


Wow.  That was really helpful.  When will I learn that the guys in my hallway should not be trusted when they suggest I come check something out in their classroom?  90% of the time it is not related to the task at hand, but simply a picture or video that they think is funny.

Just to be fair to myself, I don't always fall into this trap.

Don't worry, the assignment was created before our prep hour was over.

...president...

Location:  Hallway

Time:  Passing Period

Student who is new to the school this year, talking to another teacher:  Are you Mr. Moore?


Teacher:  No


Student:  Oh, who is Mr. Moore?  Everyone says he should be president.


Student turns to me:  Wait, YOU should be president!


Well, if I ever decide to run, it will have to wait at least a couple years to ensure I will have at least one voter.  Of course, when I asked why I should run, all she could say was, I don't know.  You just SHOULD.


I will let you before I make my decision.

...laughing till you cry...

Today was a time to laugh.  A time to laugh so hard you cry.

In a PLC meeting comments were made about how one of the teachers had a coffee stain on his pants.  This particular teacher tends to say "poop stains!" as an exclamatory phrase on a regular basis.  At one point during the meeting he said this...and eventually he came to the realization that the alleged coffee stain on his pants wasn't a coffee stain at all.

That's right.  It literally was a poop stain, courtesy of his son's diaper.
We laughed so hard we cried.  Thankfully I didn't wear eyeliner today, or I would have had make-up streaming down my face.


Later today I learned about a lesson that this same teacher held in his Spanish class.  He was teaching his students words like corta (cut) and pelo (hair).  So...he actually told a student to cut his hair.  Yep.  A student cut his hair in class. When I asked him why he would do that, what was his response?

The more memorable the experience with the word the more likely they are to remember it.


I'm sure those students will never forget the day their Spanish teacher had a chunk of hair cut off the top of his head...especially if they noticed the poop stains on his pants.

...vocab sentences...

Vocabulary word:  Chattel

Chattel = personal, movable property; slave

Student's sentence:  I carry lil Wayne in my heart like he is my chattel.


My response:  wow

Yeah, I wrote that on her paper.

At least she used it correctly.

...differentiated instruction...

All my educator friends will appreciate this.

The rest of you...I think you will chuckle as well.

Enjoy!

...pencils can be dangerous...

I was explaining a packet of information about personality styles to a class.

As I was talking, I noticed a student nearly poke herself in the eye with her pencil.  It seemed to bounce off of her cheek bone...

Somehow the whole situation struck me as funny...and uncontrollable laughter overtook me.  Seriously, I couldn't quit.  I was the only one who saw it, and the student involved didn't exactly see the humor.  So there I was, holding a giant packet, laughing hysterically, with a room full of students starring at me, trying to figure out why I was laughing after asking a student if she was okay.

She said it hurt, but was ok.  It never made contact with her eye.  It won't leave a mark...on her face anyway.  But it has left a mark on my mind.  In fact, as I type this, I am holding back the laughter.

Well, the uncontrollable laughter has moved to mostly controllable.

The crazy thing is, when it happened, it looked as if she threw the pencil at her face on purpose.  Odd.

...the office...

One of the perks (or annoying pitfalls, depending on your perspective & the theme) of working at an American high school is Homecoming Spirit Week.  Each day has it's own theme:  mismatch, jersey, Hollywood, school spirit, etc.  Participation on some days is more challenging than others, especially if you don't want to spend any money.  But I think it's a good idea to encourage the students to have school spirit.  I mean, if the teachers do it, then surely the students will want to do it, right?

Today was Hollywood Day.

Let me back up...

So, my PLC is kind of quirky.  For several weeks now there has been talk about some eerie similarities to us and the characters of the popular TV show, The Office.  As a result, some PLC members have been hoping to write scripts and actually film some episodes.  I don't know, maybe we should call it The Office Meets The PLC.  Ok, so there really aren't too many similarities...Even so, we have assigned characters.  So today, Hollywood Day, was the perfect opportunity for our debut.

If today was an episode, it would have been called The Staff Picture. 

Can you identify our characters?  Imagine what happened when The World's Best Boss suggested we do a classic jumping picture...

...plc meetings...

PLC = Professional Learning Community

At my school, the staff work in PLCs.  This is similar to the idea of departments...but upgraded.

We meet with our PLCs regularly.

Somehow I have ended up in a PLC with all other members being male.  Well, except for our administrative representative.

So, as the token female, I take notes during meetings.  Don't worry, I volunteered for the job.  Let's face it, I would do the best job.

Now, seriously, who ever reads the minutes from meetings?  Why would they?  Well, I have transformed this stereotype.  Just as departments have been upgraded to PLCs, our meeting minutes have been upgraded as well.

Can you really expect a group of grown men who spend their day working with teenagers to be all business?  No.  No you can't.  Though we do get plenty of work done, we also really have a good time together.  Meetings are never dull...So why should the minutes be dull?  Well, they aren't.  I am transforming our notes by including the most hilarious aspects of the meetings.  Random comments and strange behaviors are found in the notes on a regular basis...Right there along side the rest of the official business, just as they occur.

I have always emailed each PLC member the notes immediately after the meetings.  In the past only one of the members read them.  Last year he discovered that these were no ordinary notes.  Word spread.

These are some things that have happened since:

>Certain PLC members strategically try to find a seat next to me so they get a preview of what they will get to read later.
>One member has claimed that his favorite part of the meetings is seeing me make odd faces at the random things that happen, then immediately begin typing.
>I often hear, Did you get that in the notes?
>One PLC member has said, Are we having a PLC meeting today?  Good, I can't wait to read your notes.
>Members have been known to be found laughing hysterically during their prep periods as they reread the minutes.  That's right, reread...days later.

So what if our Professional Learning Community is a little higher on the community side than the professional.  Hey, I'm all about creating a positive work environment.

...typos...

We were in the computer lab last week.
As a student was struggling to type in the correct website, I heard:  Uggghhh...I just typed my dash backwards!  Now I have to redo it.


I didn't think it was possible to type a dash backwards...

...the jokster...

I was talking through "business" with one of my classes.  After answering a student's question, a different student raised his hand.  He had kind of a defeated tone of voice when I called on him.

Student:  Miss O'Brien, do you know what sucks?


Me:  Uhh, I don't know...


Then, at the same time we both said:

A vacuum.


We both looked at each other in amazement while the class laughed.  He was trying to sound serious while cracking a joke & I predicted his answer.  We were both slightly disturbed that we were thinking the same way.

A couple more times during class he tried to pull off the "I'm-going-to-raise-my-hand-and-make-it-look-like-I-have-a-legitimate-question-but-really-I'm-just-going-to-tell-a-joke" move.

He was surprised when I knew the answer to this one:

Jokster:  What did the Zero say to the Eight?


Me:  Nice belt.


Jokster:  Wow.


He ended with telling a joke he'd made up that didn't make sense and wasn't funny...to anyone.  Well, at least I didn't know the answer.  I guess that means something...

...training day...

Today I spent the day in the computer lab for training on new curriculum.  My students had a substitute teacher.

Early in the morning, another teacher walked into the lab to join the training.  He gave me a folded piece of paper.

It was a note from a student.  Yep, a student (who I don't have in class anymore, by the way) wrote me a note & gave it to another teacher to "pass" on to me.

He had mentioned to her that I would be in the training with him for the day.  So, she wrote me a note to let me know she would miss me today because she wouldn't be able to say hi to me during passing periods.

Man, how did she make it through the summer?

...three funny moments...

STORY #1
Student 1: Miss O'Brien, where did you go?
Me:  Uganda
Student 1:  Is that in South America?
Me:  No
Student 2:  There's a South America?  Do we own it?
Me:  You know what you should do?  Take Geography next year.

STORY #2
A student is making an odd face as we grade the bellwork assignment.
Me:  Are you okay?
Student:  You know how they say if you keep your face in one position for a long time it will stick?  Well, I'm trying to make it stick.

STORY #3
Student 1:  What's your first name?
Me: Why?
Student 1:  You look like a Laura.
Me:  My grandma's name is Laura.
Student 1 smiles
Student 2:  Yeah, she does look like a Laura.

...do I know you?...

A new school year has begun.  Now that I am starting my sixth year at this school, I see family resemblances all over the place.  There are some last names that are omnipresent, so I am never quite sure if  the new students before me are indeed related to their namesakes of the past or not.  Being the youngest of four, I understand that you don't exactly want your teachers to connect you with siblings the first time they meet you.  So, I try to be sensitive to that...yet I really want to know who is related to who.  The main reason is because I don't want to be the teacher in the dark five months down the road who is just putting two-and-two together.

So, last week I was talking with a student with a very common last name.  Not only is it common in our general population, but it is also very popular in this particular school.  (I'm about to use completely different names than the actual people discussed, so don't worry about me using students' actual identities.)

I noticed that Bobby Smith (remember, this is not his real name) was somehow reminding me of other Smiths I'd had, but I couldn't quite decide which ones.  Now, of course to add to the confusion, most Smiths in this town are cousins, if not siblings.  So, I simply asked, Hey Bobby, are you connected to any other Smiths I know?

Bobby:  Yeah, Johnny & Billy  [note Johnny & Billy are cousins, so this doesn't actually clear things up too much] and all the other Smiths they are connected to.

You know, that's right.  Don't bother to identify all of your relations, nor how they are related.  Just throw out a couple names and make a general association.

Thanks man, that really cleared things up for me.

...they're ba-aack...

Well, the new school year has officially started....Here's hoping this year's batch of students are just as funny as last year's.

...a typical afternoon in the hills of Uganda...

So, I was reading through my journal from Uganda last night, and I was reminded of a story I wrote down for the sake of blogging....but I didn't have internet access at the time.

Linda, Hayley, and I were in a small village of the southwest region of Uganda.  Linda was busy with her sewing students, and Hayley and I were busy, well, socializing.

One of the students at the school pulled a mattress out of the dormitory for us to lounge on in a shady spot on the hill.  As we were lying there, chatting away, all of a sudden Hayley said, A cow is eating that sweater!  She pointed about 15 feet away where some laundry was drying on small bushes.  Sure enough, a young cow had a sweater in her mouth.

The student looked up, then quietly, almost lethargically said, That's mine.  No exclamation included.  She stood up slowly, and as she walked towards the culprit, she simply added, It was a gift.  I'm still not sure why she explained that to us...or maybe it was directed towards the cow, to let her know why eating it was so inappropriate...Anyway, on her way to rescue this sweater, in a very faint, yet annoyed voice, she said to the cow, go away.


I'm not sure the humor of the moment comes through too clearly without actually hearing her sweet, Uganda voice tell the cow not to eat her clothing.  I mean, her tone almost sounded disappointed.

Imagine a young child about to take a pacifier away from his baby sister.  In anticipation of the screams that will result, you quietly, almost desperately say, please don't do it.  That's the tone I heard as she walked towards the cow and said, go away.

Well, I guess it worked.  The cow walked away, and the sweater had no evidence of having been an appetizer.  Good thing it didn't make a trip through that cow's four stomachs.

This isn't the cow....but you get the idea.  I mean, you've seen cows before.

But this one IS Ugandan, and from the same village as the cow in question.

...laundry...

I came home from Africa to find that my washing machine isn't working.

Wait, that isn't funny at all.

...billboard mystery...

So, we have been spending the week in Kampala, Uganda's capital city.

For those of you that have never been to Uganda, you need to understand that sometimes signs and advertisements are....well...interesting.  Spelling is left up to interpretation.  Languages are inconsistent.  Meanings are not always clear.

I mean, today I had to ask our friend Roland why a sign said "Avoid Fake Weddings."  It's not what you probably think.

Throughout the city there are various round-a-bouts, something foreign to most Americans.  All around these traffic-jam-inducers are giant billboards.  I have seen these same signs all week, but for some reason one really got my attention today.  I was looking at the image of a little boy, maybe about 2 years old, with giant headphones on his ears, and looking up.  Next to it, in ginormous Comic Sans letters, it says, How is talking to your listening child?

What????

I brought it to the attention of the three others in the car.  We spent several minutes trying to come up with an explanation.  I ultimately decided it must just be a typo.  (Or do you call it a paint-o when it's on a billboard?)  Not long after we agreed with this as the only logical conclusion, we saw another billboard that was identical to the confusing one....or was it identical?  This one said Who is talking to your listening child?



Aaaaaaahh!  That makes so much more sense!  You know, beware of the influences you allow on your children.  So, Hayley was convinced that I must have just read the first one wrong.  Of course that is very possible considering I had been dozing a bit before this encounter.

On the way home I took special note of the word in question on the first billboard....

It definitely says "How is talking to your listening child?"

...ugandan construction...

So the other day I was traveling from Mbarara to Kampala.  Along the way I was sharing with my travel-mates that I wanted to share a funny story from Uganda on my blog.  I asked them to help me think of something funny that has happened over the past few weeks to share.  This shouldn't be too challenging since I feel like I am laughing 80% of the time.  However, anything that causes such laughter seems like something my average reader just wouldn't appreciate without having experienced it first-hand.

I thought about telling you about what happened when we went to the national park and saw lions.  We decided to do a little off-roading to get a closer look....nope I already decided that it isn't worth me typing out the funny part...(Maybe the fact that it is still early and I haven't eaten breakfast yet is playing into that decision.)

As we kept driving and thinking, I saw it.

A construction worker was wearing a Santa Claus hat as he was directing traffic.  That's right, a Santa Claus hat.  I know, directing traffic in Uganda is practically unheard of...I guess it was a special occasion:  Christmas in July.

...warm or cold...

So tonight I ordered dinner around 9:30pm.  While enjoying my rice and pineapple, I realized I didn't have the water I had ordered.  I went over to the desk to ask for one.

Warm or cold?


Really???  Who orders warm water?

Only in Uganda....Well, at least that is the only place I have ever been asked that question.

P.S. I saw lions today.  In real life.  In the wild.

...packing...

Why do I pack so stinking far in advance?  I just end up making last minute changes anyway....
Sometimes I don't even understand myself!  Good luck to the rest of you!

12 hours from now the team of travelers will be gathering at my church to head to Africa.

It's a weird mix of feeling like it's taken forever to arrive, yet not being able to believe that a full year has passed since I went to Uganda for the first time.

Well, no promises there will be any posts until I return in August....In the meantime, check the link for my team's blog to stay connected.  We're bond to post at least one funny story to make you laugh...

...remember...

I was having a conversation with friends about remembering passwords.  Don't you just hate it that practically every website you use asks you to create a login & password?  How can we possibly keep them all straight?  And even if you try to just have a regular one you use every time, it doesn't work because different sites have different requirements for number of characters, letters, numbers, etc.

One friend was telling a story about how they were working on something and entering in someone else's information:

Friend:  Hey, what's your password?
Other person:  Remember.
Friend:  Remember what?
Other person:  No, that's my password.  Remember.

Awesome.  How have I never thought of this?

...did you know?...

So, a big storm and tornado warning came through town while I was at church & just about to leave.  I was sitting around with a few other people.  Some of these people were young children.  As we waited for the storm to pass by, we discussed various topics.

All of a sudden a little girl asks, Did you know fish poop is red?

Hmmm...I always thought it was white.

...amen...

So I spent a few days visiting my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew in Minnesota.  The beauty of teaching is the flexibility for impromptu mini-vacations in the summer.

Before I left their house in the morning, we gathered together & they prayed for me.  Rachel went first.  In the midst of serious, heart-felt prayers, a little three-year voice shouts out, "Amen!  Now your turn!"  He points to his dad.  That's one way of letting someone know you think their prayer is too long!

So Mark prayed and then asked little Jonathan if he wanted to pray.  His response?  "NO!  I'm not tired!"

Maybe next time there are family prayers other than at bedtime we should make sure no one is wearing footie pajamas in order to avoid confusion!

...hugs...

Student:  You just made a little boy very happy.  I want to give you a hug or something...

(I cut him off)

Me:  Uggghh, I don't want you to hug me.  (as I cower)

Student:  I know you would be creeped out by that, so can I have a handshake?

...shots...

Earlier this week my students were finishing up projects and studying for finals.

I was grading those projects.

All of a sudden a student comes over to tell me something.

Miss O'Brien, I got my tetnus shot the same day as one of our football games.  It was crazy, people rammed into my arm and I didn't even feel it.


Football season is in the fall.  It's currently May.

Cool, go ahead and have a seat and finish your study guide.


Students can be really odd sometimes.

...judgment day...

Student:  If tomorrow is the end of the world, I'm going to be really mad.

...I remember what it was now...

So, yesterday a student was a bit puzzled by my outfit.

Student:  Miss O'Brien, are you wearing two different shirts under your sweater?  I mean, you have pink coming out the bottom, but tan coming out the top.  Or is it one shirt that changes colors?  Whoa!  That's so cool.  No, they are two different textures, so they must be two different shirts.


Me:  Yes, they are two different shirts.


Later that day this same student was being interviewed by me and a few other students.  After several minutes of serious questions asked by the student's peers, they ask if there are any questions for them.

Student:  Well, not for you......but for Miss O'Brien.....Have you been wearing that necklace all day?!?  I don't think you were, because this morning I was commenting on your sweater, so I know I was paying attention.  I totally would have noticed that necklace!


Me:  Uhhh...yeah, I've been wearing it all day.  I'm even wearing a bracelet that matches.  


I pulled the bracelet out from under my sweater sleeve.

That's right, I'm still wearing sweaters to work.  Now that the air conditioning is working, I'm freezing most of the time.

...i'm getting old...

Something really funny happened today & I thought, I should blog about this later!


I can't remember what happened.

...belated teacher appreciation...

He missed teacher appreciation week...but I still feel appreciated.

...lost phone...

A student was working in my room after school.  It was approaching the time I was hoping to leave.

Me:  Do you need to call home for a ride so someone is here to pick you up?


Student:  I lost my phone.


Me: Really?


Student:  Yeah, my mom keeps forgetting, no matter how many times I tell her I've lost it.


Me:  Ok, so you'll need to use the phone in the office.


Student:  It's under my bed.  I hear it vibrating all the time.




I'm not sure being too lazy to get your phone after you drop it in a hard-to-reach place qualifies as losing it. What do you think?

...Texas is huge...

Student:  Miss O'Brien, did you know that Texas is bigger than Africa?

I have to turn away because I am laughing so hard.


Student:  I mean, it's not bigger than Africa, but it's bigger than parts of Africa.  It's bigger than Kenya.  It's bigger than Alaska too.


Me:  No, Alaska is bigger than Texas.



Student:  Right, that's what I meant.  I didn't think a state could be bigger than a country.  I mean, Burundi, that is small!


Me:  Yeah, it's just a little thing.


Meanwhile, another student has gone to look at the world map by my desk to verify all of this information.

...grapes...

I was standing in the hallway during a passing period, as usual.
As a student walks by, she says, Hey Miss O'Brien, I like your scarf.
I reply with the typical, thanks.

Student:  It looks like fruit.

Me:  What?  What fruit does it look like?

Student:  It looks like a bunch of grapes hanging from a vine.

A little while later I walked into the classroom next door, where this student is in class.

Student:  Mr. Shaw, doesn't Miss O'Brien's scarf look like a bunch of grapes hanging down from a vine?

Mr. Shaw:  Uhhh...It looks like something that rhymes with grapes....maybe drapes.

Student:  I think mine was a better compliment.

...chapstick...

Student 1 [talking to Student 2}:  Everytime I look at you, you are putting on chapstick.

Student 2:  I know!  I'm addicted to it.  If I didn't have it, I would be sleeping!

The rest of the class and I exchange looks.

Student 3 is sitting in front of Student 2 and applying chapstick.

Student 2:  Hey, can I try that?  [She turns and looks at me.]  It's like juice!

...I have no idea...

Students are sitting at their desks working.
I am sitting at my desk entering grades.

Student:  Miss O'Brien, how tall am I?

Me:  I have no idea.

Student:  Oh.

...a new species...

Students were working on their bellwork:  correcting sentences that came from papers turned in a few weeks ago.

Student:  If I discover a new species of animal, can I name it?

Me:  Yes.

Student:  Really?  I can?

Me:  Yes.

(Pause for a moment of contemplation.)

Student:  I think I'm going to mate Brown Bears & Grizzly Bears.  I'll name them.....

Other Student:  Brizzly Bears!


The creativity is astounding.

The sentences they were working on had nothing to do with bears, or any animals at all.

...tanning...

Student:  Miss O'Brien, have you been going tanning?

Me:  No, I don't believe in it.

Student:  Well, it's real.

...be somebody's fool...

Thanks to my colleagues, I recently discovered something life-changing.  I don't know how I have missed out on this my entire life.  You will especially appreciate this if you are a product of the 80's.  I must warn you, if you think you are ready to click on the link below, it is 50 minutes long.  That's right, 50 minutes.  But it is worth every second.  So, grab some popcorn, sit back, and relax.

Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool

Special thanks to Tom, Adam, & Dirk for their enlightenment.

...just can't get enough...

The ACT is coming up, so that means I am doing some extra tutoring these days.

I was working with a student last night.  She is a girl after my own heart, demonstrating a real love for learning.

We had gone through several passages for the reading test.  It was getting late & she was getting tired.  We had just finished going over a fourth passage, and she was really improving on some things we had been discussing.  With a new confidence and excitement over what she was learning she exclaimed, I want to do another passage!  But then she realized that would mean reading another long passage and decided not to.

As I thought she was packing up, she turned to a math test & said, I like picking problems in the math test to see if I can do them!  After we met last time I realized the test is just a trap, so I like picking problems at the end to see if I can do them.

She proceeded to attempt several problems, with me guiding her if she got stuck.

Who stays extra long at a tutoring session because she thinks it's fun to see if she can figure out challenging math problems?

...hatin' on our music...

Teach Me How To Dougie is playing in the background.

Someone complains.

Student:  Miss O'Brien!  How you finna let him hate on our black music like that?


Me:  Why are you saying our black music, as if I'm black too, man?


With a smirk on my face, I walk over and put my arm next to his.  I point out, in case he couldn't tell on his own, that my skin is in fact much paler than his.  I'm glad to know he feels a connection with me, but somehow I think he got confused.

...what are you working on...

So I was working with some students on a practice ACT writing test.  They had been looking over each other's essays and evaluating them on the specific criteria we have discussed for their introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions.

At the end of class I ask the students what they have done well.  Then I asked, What do you still need to work on?


A student raises his hand.  I'm working on my body.

...yogurt...

Hey readers, you have led me to a break through this week:  Over 2,000 hits!  Wow!  I'm glad to see you are enjoying my times of laughter.  So, to celebrate, here's another story:

Today a student noticed a little bottle of coconut lime lotion on my desk.  It has a creamy, yellowish color.  Upon seeing it, he asked me Do you think this one tastes like yogurt too?


This statement reminded me of a blog post I intended to make, but never did.

A few weeks ago this same student saw a different bottle of lotion on my desk (remember the lotion party?).  This lotion had a pinkish tint to it.  He put a little lotion on his hand, watched it move around in his palm a bit, turned to me, and said, Do you think this looks like yogurt?


I don't remember if I just looked at him or affirmed that it did look a little like yogurt (maybe raspberry, but without the seeds).

Do you think it will taste like yogurt?


Regardless of my answer, he had to find out.  So he licked it.  That's right, he licked lotion to see if it tasted like yogurt.  Real logical, right?

Well, it doesn't taste like yogurt, according to this student anyway.  But it does take a few seconds to realize it.  Apparently it's gross.

Yet, this memory almost wasn't strong enough to keep him from investigating a new flavor, I mean scent, today.

...fail...

Okay readers, so I think you pretty much failed the interactive test.  Well, except Kristin & Anonymous.

So, I fold.

Answer:  a box of tissues

He knows the way to a teacher's heart.

...an interactive test for my readers...

A student just dropped off a "gift" to me.

When I asked why I earned the privilege of his generosity, he said it was because I am his favorite teacher.

ANY GUESSES AS TO WHAT IT IS?

(This is where the interactive test part comes in.  Leave a comment if you want to take a stab at it.  I'm curious as to what you might guess...)

...redo?...

I just returned to my classroom to find yet another self-portrait.

This one is taped to the window next to my door.

Interestingly enough, it is labeled with a name of a student who already put his self-portrait on my bulletin board a couple weeks ago.

The portraits do not look anything alike.

...coloring pages...

I just remembered that I took this picture a few weeks ago.

One day a student brought me a picture that she colored.

Yep, she is 15 years old.

I think it was that same day...or at least the same week...when I had some visitors during my prep hour. They were coming from their history class. They had drawn and colored self-portraits and wanted to put them up in my room. I now have drawings of 5 different students' faces on various walls in my room.

None of them really look like their drawings though.

Good thing they labeled them.

...flash drive...

Today a student asked me if my necklace was a flash drive.

...are you in love with him?...

Sometimes when I give my students time to work in class, I will play some music quietly in the background.

The other day this was happening in one of my classes.  A song by Enrique Iglesias came on.

Student:  Miss O'Brien, are you in love with him?

Me:  What?

Student:  Are you in love with Enrique Iglesias?

Me:  Why would you think that?

Student:  Everyone's in love with Enrique Iglesias!

...spray paint...

Student:  Awww man!  I just realized that I have spray paint on my hoodie!

Me:  Wait, what did you realize?

Student:  I have spray paint on my hoodie!

Me:  Ummmmm, how did you get spray paint on your hoodie?

Student:  I spray painted my closet and I didn't take my clothes out of it.

Me:  Wait, what?  You spray painted your closet?

Student:  Yeah, that's how I painted my whole room.

Me:  You painted your room with spray paint?  That is odd.

Student:  That's not odd.  It worked really well.

Me:  Okay, so you spray painted your room.  And you spray painted your closet.  And you didn't take out your clothes?  I mean, you couldn't have taken five minutes to take them out?

Student:  FIVE MINUTES??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IS IN THERE?  I HAVE LIKE EIGHTY HOODIES!

Me:  Right, but you couldn't have just grabbed them and taken them out?

Student:  That would be too much work.

Me:  Okay, (in attempt to check mental state and possible influence of paint fumes) how long had you been painting before you decided to paint your closet?

Student:  Like two seconds.

Me:  So that is what you started with that day?

Student:  Yeah.

Me:  Okay, so I'm a bit confused.  If your clothes were still in your closet, what exactly did you paint?

Student:  There's a wall in my closet.  I painted my name on it.

Me:  You painted your name on your closet wall?

Student:  Yeah....My shoes got kind of dirty too.

Other student:  I'm thinking of spray painting my closet like that now. (Don't worry, he was being sarcastic.)

Me:  Maybe you could get her to paint it for you.

...the llama...

I drive through back roads to get to work.

I pass several different types of farms along the way.

One farm has sheep, a donkey, and a llama.

Today when I drove past I noticed something unusual:  The llama was off by itself, not with the sheep.

I looked a little closer and realized he was on top of some standing water that had frozen overnight.  He was trying to stand up but kept slipping on the ice.  As his feet wobbled, he kept his neck/head straight up.  It made me think of some "tough guy" who slips and then tries to act as if it didn't happen.

Part of me wanted to think, Oh, poor llama!  But before I could even finish the though in my head, I was cracking up at the sight of this animal struggling to stand up and join it's sheepish friends.

Sorry if you're offended by this animal cruelty.  I don't know if he was harmed at all during the day.  (He seemed fine on my way home.)

...my head hurts...

My students were working on their bellwork assignment.

I was taking attendance at my desk.

A student came over:  Miss O'Brien my head hurts.  I hit it on the board.


Me:  How did you do that?


Student:  I was looking at the projector, and I ran into the board.  It hurts real bad.


It must have happened in the class before mine.  It still doesn't make sense to me.  I was laughing too hard to get the details.

...haircut...

I got a haircut last week.

As a teacher, that means you will have hundreds of comments over the next few days.  Not necessarily compliments, but comments.  This isn’t because students are rude or do not like it; it is because they are not very good at giving compliments.

The day after the haircut, each class was constantly interrupted with, Did you get a haircut? asked by various students one after another…within seconds of each other. 

Today a student popped into my classroom and said, Miss OG, you got your haircut!  You look better with long hair.  But you still look good.

(Note:  Many students call me Miss OB.  This student calls me Miss OG because I am the Original Gangsta.)

In one class today, while my students were working, I was typing.  A few students noticed that I was typing quite quickly and not looking at the screen.  This is amazing to them.  One student even got up to stand behind me, and asked me to look away and keep typing.  He was so impressed that I was actually typing words.  Not only that, I knew when I made a mistake and backspaced without looking at the keys or screen.

The response from the student who had first noticed my typing skills:  You are a GREAT woman!  

My response, after I recovered from reactive laughter:  Well, you are a great kid…sometimes.

Later a student stopped in after she had lunch.  She said hi then took a look at the pictures on what I call my STUD WALL.  I just call it that because I abbreviate student as stud & it is a wall full of pictures of students.  So this student was looking for pictures that she was in.  Before leaving, she said, Yeah, I’m a stud.  I get it from my mom.  

...proximity...

One age-old trick teachers have in addressing poor behavior is proximity.  When a student is not making wise choices when it comes to behavior, often simply getting closer to them will help them to clean up their act.

I certainly use this technique on a consistent basis.  I think some students practically expect me to teach while standing next to their desks.

Today I was applying the proximity principle with one particular student.

At one point he said he wanted to see my ring while I was standing next to his desk.  So, as I continued leading the discussion/notes, I lifted my hand so he could see the ring and what is written on it.  As I was talking, he proceeded to try to take the ring off of my finger.  Of course I didn't want him to take it off, so I simply bent my finger to make that a challenge.  He proceeded to use both hands in attempt to pry my hand open....mind you, I am still teaching.  Eventually he gave up, saying, You got a MAN grip Miss O'Brien!


I just looked at him, nodded, took my hand back, and continued with the conversation how how to revise a paper.

Then he started flicking my scarf.  That's right, he was flicking it.  But it didn't really distract me, I kept going.  At one point he asked, Why is one side longer than the other?  So, in order to appease him, I adjusted my scarf so that both sides were hanging at equal lengths.  There is fringe at the ends of the scraf I am wearing today.  The student grabbed the scarf and put the fringe in his face.  Surely he was trying to see how it would distort the image of his friend across the room.

This student seemed to really be longing for my attention today.  Soon he began to "hit" my elbow repeatedly.  You know, kind of like swinging his arm to casually flip it with his finger.  I tried to keep going...but the other students' faces told me that they didn't know how I could keep going with this happening.

I don't know....I guess this must be what a mom feels like when her child is pulling on her shirt, grabbing her legs, and repeating her name over and over while she is in a deep conversation with a friend.  The mom can just continue on without a problem until the child is appearing to distract her friend from what is being discussed.

I walked away from his desk for a little while.

...interactive t-shirt...

I'm standing at my door in the hallway during  a passing period.

Two freshmen boys are walking towards me.

Student 1:  Hey Miss O'Brien, play his t-shirt!

Me:  What?

The students stop in front of me.  Student 2 is wearing a t-shirt with a keyboard on it.

Student 1:  Play his shirt!

He reaches over to Student 2's shirt and starts "playing" the keyboard.  It actually makes noise.  He was really playing his t-shirt!

Me:  Wait, do you have some sort of battery attached to your shirt????

Student 2:  No...(he pulls something out from under his t-shirt).  It's an amp.

The student has a keyboard t-shirt with an amp that actually plays music.

He ordered it online.

...reading a dictionary...

Okay, so I'm a nerd and proud of it.  I unabashedly claim my nerdiness to my students, and encourage them to embrace who they are as well.

Tonight my nerdiness is being rivaled....

My roommates and I are just sitting around, talking, watching Rocky, laughing, emailing, reading, etc.

I picked up my book, thinking I might actually be able to read a few pages.  From the couch across the room I hear, ooohh!


I looked over...in astonishment, I exclaim: Are you reading the DICTIONARY???


Uhhhh...yes, I am!


No way!  No one actually reads the dictionary!  Sometimes I tell my students I do, just because I know they will believe me, but no one actually reads it!


Other roommate: She does this all the time.




Here are some things I have been hearing since I picked up my computer:

A heifer is a young cow.  Other roommate chips in: usually a female.


Fussbudget means one who fuss or is fussy about trials.


Did you know a flock of geese is called a gaggle?


Other roommate: Do you know what a flock of crows is called?  
Me: a craggle, obviously.
No, a murder.


Well, she is still flipping through the pages of her Miriam Webster Pocket Dictionary, but hasn't been sharing for awhile.  Maybe she is in the X's....

...what I mean is...

Tonight was definitely a time to laugh.

A little back story, without getting into the details too much:  I am helping a university student with his school fees in Uganda.  He has become like a little brother to me.  A friend of mine (who will soon be traveling to Uganda) has agreed to deliver a computer to him for me.

Tonight my roommates accompanied me to Wal-Mart in order to buy a computer bag for my little Ugandan brother.  In this particular Wal-Mart, there seemed to be a lack of organization in the electronic department.  The three of us had separated as we looked around.  Melissa decided to find an associate and ask him where to look.  Just about the same time he was pointing her towards a few options, I had spotted them and was on my way there too.

As I'm looking through the various black options, the associate comes back with a pastel purple bag with butterflies and swirly pink & purple designs.  Right then, Megan approaches the action while I say, Well, I'm looking for a man.


Everyone else realizes what I have just said before I do.

Apparently "the man" that is helping us reacts as if to see if he qualifies, signaling that he does, however, have a few gray hairs.  Maybe he was trying to see if I thought he was too old for me.

As I realize what I have just implied, I tried to recover.  Well, I mean, I'm not looking for a man.  Errr, I, uhh, I need a bag for a man...


The man was still showing me the purple bag that my six-year old niece would probably love.

What I mean is.....I don't want the purple one.  Well, he wouldn't want the purple one.  I mean, this one is good.  (I was holding a nice black one.)

The rejected man walked away.



So, when funny things like this happen, we tend to keep repeating it, as if we weren't all there for the original event.  Somehow, it keeps getting funnier with every retelling and variation we create...

We went to get ice cream.  As we waited for our ice cream creations to get mixed (which they didn't actually mix), we continued to crack ourselves up about how I said I was looking for a man.  After a few minutes, we giggled away, walking out with ice cream to enjoy as we drove through an icy night.

But as we turned to leave, we noticed a man in a booth by himself laughing at us, and giving us a creepy sort of smile.  He had clearly been listening to us joking....

Maybe he was hoping he might be the kind of man I was looking for.

...are you gonna blog about me?...

Well, the blog has leaked out.

Some students now know the link and are enjoying the stories....

So I took a few students on a leadership field trip this week.  Throughout the day I heard, so are we going to make it on the blog?  Are you going to blog about me?  I wanna say something funny so I'll get one the blog!


Today the same student came into my room, Did you blog about me yet?  I haven't checked yet!


They are getting as bad as Mr. Smith across the hall with his attempt to make it onto the blog with lame jokes.

Well, there you go....you've both officially made it....

It's just not the same when you ask for it, is it?

Don't worry you two, I'll keep looking for a more authentic reason to blog about you.  I'm sure your day will come.

...I smell good...

I put some lotion on my hands (not the one I wrote about before that my friend gave me and I was giving students, this is my good stuff) at the beginning of class while my students were working on their bellwork assignment.
A few minutes later I was passing back papers.  When I got to one student's desk she started sniffing really deeply & loudly.  You know, the kind of sniffs that cause your whole body to move.
Student:  You smell so good!  (sniff sniff)  You just smell so good!  (turns to other student) You should smell her; she smells really good!
Other student:  What?  Weird!  I'm not smelling her!
Student:  No, just ask her something and she will come over to your desk and you can smell her.  (sniff sniff)  She smells so good!


I walked away to continue to pass back papers to other students.

...mama bear...

Story #1 of the day

Student:  We should all call you Mama Bear.

Before I could respond, another student asks my question:  Why a bear?

Student:  Because a mama bear is really protective of her cubs.  (She then demonstrates this idea by turning her hands into claws.)  Yeah, I'm gonna call you Miss Mama Bear.  Can I write it on my papers?

She proceeded to tell me that I should teach other classes because she wants to have me again after she is done with her freshman year.  (I only teach freshmen, well for all practical purposes.)  That was nice.

Story #2 of the day


I have a student who sits near my desk.  I put him there for strategic reasons, but it seems to be backfiring.  He can't quite keep his hands off of anything he sees on my desk.  Twice in the past couple of weeks he has found himself taking apart a small, metal, vintage-looking fan that sits on the corner.  It's like it's impulsive.  One time I said something to him while the cage of the fan was in his hands and it was as if I woke him from a trance...he looked at the piece of metal in hands as if he was trying to figure out how it got there.

Well today I was standing near him while talking to the class.  The next thing I know he has taken a piece of scotch tape off of my tape dispenser and put it on my back.  Don't bother asking why, it really isn't worth attempting to determine the reasoning.  So, I turned to give him a questioning look.  He made some comment about how it said "kick me."  Obviously it didn't actually say it; he just wanted a reaction.  I proceeded to continue whatever it was I was saying to the class without doing anything about the tape.  A few seconds later he interrupts me, Can you please take the tape off of your back?  I know you know it's there, but you're not doing anything about it.  That's really bothering me.


I think that may have been a sly trick I learned from having older brothers.  Years of my parents telling me to just ignore it are finally paying off.

...chapped hands...

I was collecting papers from my students.
As I was taking a small stack from a student, she reached over and touched my hand.

Me (very casually):  What are you doin'?
Student:  What do you call that when you....It happens to your lips....Chapped!  I wanted to see if your hands are chapped, because I thought maybe they were, but they aren't.  They are really soft.
Me:  Oh-kay...
Student:  Why are you looking at me like I'm a creep or something?  It's not like I touched your arm or something!

...just another Friday...

1) Student is leaning his head back while sitting in his chair, arms flailing.  He is making weird noises while sticking his tongue out.  After starring for a moment, I ask, Are you okay?
Student:  I'm catching the snow.
Me:  Okay, you know that it's not snowing and that we're inside, right?


2) In the middle of me explaining something a student excited blurts out, Hey, today is the last day of February!
While I form a confused look, another student replies with, Today is JANUARY 28th!
Original student:  Oh....  Head goes down.
We continue with class.

3)  Again, while in the midst of class (apparently topics at hand are not interesting enough to capture full attention)....
Student:  You should be a nun!
I just pause, trying to formulate a response as I consider what he could possibly be implying about me with this statement.  Other students are apparently doing the same thing as I am as 26 faces turn to him with expectancy.
Student:  She has silky hair....
That is not at all one of the many directions my mind had gone in those few seconds.

...sweater...

Student:  Miss O'Brien, can I touch your sweater?

Me:  Quizzical look

Student:  Just the sleeve!

...time traveller...

In the midst of a class discussion....

Student:  Miss O'Brien, would you believe me if I told you I was a time traveller?

Me:  Yes.

Student:  [short pause] Oh, well I am.

...lotion party...

A little while ago a friend gave me a small bottle of lotion.  It smells pretty good (at first)....but it is a little too strong for her.  I mean, the scent just lingers.  I figured I would take it off her hands and apply it elsewhere.
You see, since my students frequently ask for lotion, I figured this would be an amusing way to get rid of, errrr, put the lotion to good use.
So, first hour today a young man asked for some lotion....Out came the bottle.  Soon I was walking around the room offering it to everyone.  At first it smells nice and seems like a good idea.  After a moment or two, the students quickly realize how potent it really is.  By this time it was too late...I am pretty sure there was only one student in the entire class that denied my offer of a little squirt of lotion.
I couldn't help but laugh at them...Of course the joke was kind of on me too because the scent permeated my classroom.
During the passing period I stood by my door as usual...But this time I had the lotion bottle in my hand and offered it to students as they passed by.  At one point a boy was walking by who regularly jokes around with me, so I just left a pink stream on his arm as he strolled past.  His response?  Oh, awesome!  I need lotion, can you put some on my other arm too?  Hahaha, surely he smelled like a girl (slightly grandma-ish) for the rest of the day.
Last hour a student who was one of my hallway victims came to class and exclaimed I STILL smell like that lotion!
The little bottle is officially half empty, well half full I guess.  At this rate, it could be gone tomorrow.

...color-blind...

My classroom is connected to another classroom by a door in the corner.  The teacher in the room that this door leads to is a Spanish teacher.  Every once in a while he will pop into my classroom to get some papers out of our printer, ask a question about a class, or something like that.  Often times when he comes in we will talk to each other in Spanish.  It certainly is not for the purpose of hiding our conversation from our students, seeing that 40% of our school's population is Hispanic.  We just do it.  (Usually we intentionally do not use a Latino accent to make it a little more entertaining.)

Today he opened the door, and as usual we began speaking in Spanish.  After he went back to his room a student said, He's white!  I don't understand why he is speaking in Spanish when he's white!

As another student attempted to explain that he is a Spanish teacher, he turned to me and yelled, Wait!  You're white too!

Hmmmm....was he just realizing this?

Maybe we are on our way to achieving the so-called color-blind mentality people talk about after all...

...mama...

A student's farewell greeting today:

You're my school mama.

...I am not a wrestler...

I like to show my support to school activities, so I ordered a wrestling T-shirt when spirit packs were available.
I wore it today (this is not the first time I've worn it).
Student:  Hey, you're not a wrestler!
Me:  You're right.

...average night at The Oasis...

The Oasis = My Home

...students are funny...

SOME AMUSEMENTS FROM THE FIRST DAYS BACK WITH STUDENTS:

Student:  If that was on Facebook, I would like it!

Two young men were in my room after school talking, but I wasn't really listening to their conversation.  Then I heard, You have to be 18 to be black.

Turns out they were talking about Martial Arts.

First hour, in the middle of class a student says, Miss O’Brien, I got you a Christmas present!

Me:  Yes!

Student: I didn’t wrap it…And I used it.  Do you still want it?

Me:  Of course!

A couple class periods later, I am standing by my door in the hallway & I saw him walking towards me.  He hands me a mug.  It says Dance, Love, Sing.  I can’t tell if it’s a joke or serious.  (I'm pretty sure it was sincere.)  I don’t know why he would give me something that encourages me to dance…He clearly doesn’t know about my lack of skill.  But I like it, and it fits well in my hand (I’m kind of a mug snob).

As the semester changes, some students' schedules change a little bit too.  One student was moved out of my class and into a section taught by another teacher.  So, when I see him in the hallway I usually ask him questions about how he's doing with the switch, if he needs tissues from all the crying, things like that.  At one point today he came into my classroom and said, Oh!  I miss the smell of your room!  I just need to smell it...He proceeded to smell the wall.  That's right; he smelled my wall.  Weird.


45 minutes into class a student says, Dude!  I'm the only black guy in this class!

One more....After school today I was asked to be a substitute cheerleading coach for their practice.  (Those of you who know me, don't get too excited, it was a one time deal.  The girls were surprised too.)  Since I wasn't in my room after school like usual, some students didn't quite know what to do with themselves.  One asked if he could join me in the cafeteria while I supervised the cheer practice.  At one point he had a roll of duct tape and was sticking tape to his face.  (Freshmen--sometimes there really is no explanation for their behavior.)  After taking it off of his upper lip he said, Look at my hair on this!  And I just shaved last week!

Oh, and don’t worry about me…I have a remote for my projector now.