...I like turkey...

Me:  So, if you had to pick only one traditional Thanksgiving food, what would you want to eat?


Student 1:  Turkey

Student 2:  Tamales

Me:  What?  No, that is not traditional Thanksgiving food.  Try again.

Student 3:  What?  It's traditional for him!

Me:  It might be traditional for him, but that isn't what I asked.  Tamales are not traditional Thanksgiving food.  Try again.

Student 2:  You'll have to come back to me.

Student 3:  Turkey

Student 2:  What?  Turkey?  Who eats turkey for Thanksgiving?

He was completely serious.

I was speechless, so I moved on.

Luckily one student said stuffing.  He is my new favorite.  Another student responded to his answer.

Stuffing Hater:  I hate stuffing, and pumpkin pie.

Me:  WHAT?  (evil look)  I don't think I can talk to you any more.

So I didn't for at least 15 minutes.

I continued to make my way through the room.  This turned out to be a way more challenging question than I anticipated.  In the midst of a few more traditional answers, I received French Fries.

Me:  Nope, try again.

Fry lover:  Turkey fries?

Me:  Nope.

I moved on.

Random student:  Hey didn't you forget her? (pointing to Stuffing Hater)

Me:  No, I didn't forget her.

Other random student:  She didn't forget her, she's not talking to her because she doesn't like stuffing or pumpkin pie.

Last student:  Meatballs

What the heck?

Stuffing Hater:  Well, I don't really hate pumpkin pie...

A few minutes later, my new favorite student (you know, the stuffing lover) said:  Miss O'Brien, I like your earrings.

Me:  Thanks.

Favorite student:  How much do they weigh?


Me:  Uhhh, I don't know.  I've never weighed them.

Favorite student:  They've gotta be like 2 . 5 pounds each.

Me:  I don't think so.

Favorite student:  That's like how much I bench.


Oh, by the way, Student 2 (the tamale lover) ended up going with pumpkin pie.  I didn't want to leave you hanging.

...bake sale...

A group of students at my school is working hard to raise an extremely large amount of money to buy Christmas presents through the local food pantry.  For a fundraiser, they asked the staff if we would be willing to make baked good for a bake sale during lunches.  I said I would make something & checked the box requesting a student pick it up on Monday.

So last weekend I made some classic chocolate chip cookies.  I thought about doing something more elaborate, but went with something that didn't require purchasing any of the ingredients.  I already had everything for chocolate chip cookies.

Well, no one picked up the two plates stacked high with cookies on Monday...

Wednesday a student apologetically came to pick up my baked goods.  I gave her one plate of cookies.  The other may or may not have been sampled by me, another teacher, and a student as I waited for pick up.

Today the student commented on how good my cookies were...Then she confessed that she tried one on her way down to the cafeteria, planning to pay for it.  When she discovered how tasty they were, she decided to buy them all.  How many other bake sale contributers can say they had all of their cookies sold to one person before they made it to the table?

Well...all that were left anyway.  Good thing she picked them up when she did!

...I pledge allegiance to...

I was in a small room with 19 students and 5 other adults.

The announcements came on and we were told to rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.  We all looked around the room and saw no flag.  So, one adult called out, everyone look at Lisa and pretend she is the flag.

Very obediently, everyone immediately turned to me, put their hands on their hearts, and recited the pledge. Eye contact was a bit odd...As they looked at me, I didn't really know who or what to look at.  I kept my eyes moving, as to avoid locking in on one person.

Weird.  I mean, I look nothing like the American flag.  I didn't have a bit of red on me!

...suspension...

A student was wearing suspenders at school today.

He walked into a room with a few faculty & staff members.

He said, I can't believe you let me get suspended!


Later I told this story to some other staff members.  They thought I was telling a joke.  Nope.  This really happened.

...ninja...

This was on a student's paper today.

"This is a homework ninja.  He protects any & all assignments, quizzes, tests, & essays from bad grades. :)  (He also likes cookies.)"

Should I bring in cookies in case she gets bad grades?  I mean, it would be for self-defense, right?

...drawing pictures...

Whenever I give my students a vocabulary quiz, I have them draw a picture on the back so that they stay quiet and don't disrupt other people.

Usually I randomly ask four different students to name 1) an animal, 2) another animal, 3) a place, 4) an activity.  Then I tell them that is what they will draw.  If they don't want to draw, that's fine.  They can write a story about it.

Recently I gave my students a quiz.  The conglomeration came to a panda and white tiger playing football in Hawaii.  I even drew my version on the board while they were finishing up.  It was pretty bad.  But I think it was better than this...

"Picture need a microscope to see" [sic]
arrow pointing to dots

...I guess I shouldn't judge until I pull out that microscope.

...old...

Students were trying to figure out how old I am, which I wouldn't tell them.  I've got to have some mystery, right?

They actually think I'll answer questions like, When did you graduate?  That's just insulting to think I will fall for it.

In the midst of guesses and questions:

Student 1:  Do you know my parents?

Me:  I don't know...

Student 1:  Because some teachers had my parents as students...

Me:  Are you suggesting that I taught your parents?

Student 2:  My armpit is kind of damp.

...last name...

Student is sitting in his desk (which is next to mine), repeating his last name over and over.

Me:  Practicing?


Student:  It's a weird last name.


Me:  silent laughter

Student:  If you say it slowly it will really mess you up.


He says his last name slowly, to demonstrate the weirdness.

Does it really mess you up when you say your last name slowly?

---------------------------------

A few minutes later he asked me if I'd ever poked myself in the eye.  Apparently it's already happened to him twice in my classroom.  Another student confirmed that she has witnessed it...both times.