...fast-food clowns...

We were working on the basics of writing outlines.  I had given students a skeleton of an outline that they had to fill in with the appropriate symbols.  Also, I had filled in some of the content, and they had to provide the rest in the empty spaces.
One topic was why people like or dislike various restaurants.  I had given them McDonalds as the first Roman Numeral that they needed to write about.  As students were busy filling in reasons why people might like McDonalds, one student needed a little help...From across the room, he asks, Miss O'Brien, what's the name of that clown at McDonalds?  Before I could tell him it was Ronald, another student quickly retorted with, Jeremy.  Hmmmm...Jeremy McDonald...it doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

...guacamole...

Yesterday I tried a new Mexican place nearby.  I enjoyed a nice torta al pastor, along with a side of guacamole & chips.  Guacamole is my favorite food...no really, it is.  And I was quite impressed with their recipe.

Because portions are huge, I couldn't finish all the chips & guac, so I brought it to work for my lunch today.

The chip-to-guac ratio wasn't totally perfect, so I had a few chips leftover.

After school I ate the last few chips before walking out the school doors.

On my way, I saw a couple students in the hallway.  We chatted for a moment, and the guy was sitting on the floor working on some homework.

I leaned over & picked up the words daughter cells on the worksheet, and nonchalantly offered:  Oh, genotypes and phenotypes?  (Yeah, subbing sometime last year during a lesson on the matter made me appear to be an expert for a moment.)

As I walked away, the girl said, you smell good!

The two students looked at each other for a moment, the she said, you smell like tortillas!

Really?  Anyone else had those two statements follow each other?  You smell good!  You smell like tortillas!

Never a dull day...

...intimidation...

I was pretending to be a chess coach again this week.  (Yes, again.)

What do you think is more intimidating at a Chess Meet?

1.  The home team displaying their two giant chess trophies on the table by the score sheets (close to two feet tall & one in the shape of a chess piece).

OR

2.  The away team walking in with a teammate who completes the Rubik's Cube at lightning speed.

...short answer tests...

Recently I gave a test that included a short answer portion.

Before administering the test, I talked to students about how text language is never appropriate for an answer on an assignment.  One example I often see is idk.  We talked about how I don't know is NEVER an appropriate answer, and certainly not in text language form.  In fact, I told them that if they didn't know an answer, they could at least write something amusing so that it made me smile rather than get frustrated that they didn't prepare.  A few years ago I had a student do something like that...They were supposed to write the Six Steps in Good Note-Taking.  Instead she wrote out directions to making Ramen noodles.  Creative.  She even included pictures.  See, that's the kind of wrong answer that makes me smile when grading.

One of my students this year took this suggestion to heart.  Here are a couple of his answers when he couldn't think of the actual answers:

1.  Close the lid tightly.
2.  Skydiving giraffes

See, you didn't even need to see the question to know that these were ridiculous.  But it sure beats an empty line, or even worse, idk.

...the end of the world...

Today was the last day of regular classes before finishing up the semester with final exams.

Students were basically spending most of the class studying...so we had some time for "stalling."

You never know what might be said when conversations go off on tangents...

Student:  I was thinking last night, Friday can't be the end of the world.

Me:  Oh really, why is that?

Student:  Because if this Jesus guy is real, he won't want to end the world before his birthday!  Then he would miss it!

Me:  Ok, good point.  So maybe not until December 26th?

Student:  Well, no, because he will want time to enjoy his presents!

Me:  Hmmmm....maybe next year, but then I guess we will run into the same problem...

Conclusion:  The world will never end.  Seemed logical to the class...

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At the end of class I was asking students if they had any questions about their study guides....That same student spoke up.

Student:  Can I make a confession?

Me:  Yes.

As soon as I said it, I realized maybe it wasn't wise to so readily encourage a student to make a public confession about who-knows-what...

She got out of her seat and walked to the front of the classroom.

Student:  I have a confession.  Last year, when we were given those free toothbrushes...
(many nods and uh-huhs from the crowd acknowledging they remembered that day)
...well...
(she covers her face with embarrassment, then continues)
...I took mine to the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet with it.  I mean, I got down in there.  Then I gave it to Josh Anderson (name was changed to protect the innocent victim).

The class reacted with a mixture of disgust, shock, amusement, and more.

It turns out that Josh's cousin is in this class.  I wonder if we will get a report sometime as to whether or not he used the toothbrush that cleaned a toilet bowl before he owned it.  But the bigger question I have is, why did my student think of this random act from the past after an hour of studying, & feel the need to confess it to her peers?  Some things will always remain a mystery to me.

...boys will be boys...

This is what happens when you work in a hallway full of men.

...rough start...

One of the best perks about the school where I work is that we have a full-time staff member whose office is the copy room.  She spends her day making copies requested by the teachers in the building (among various other duties).  Without her, I would never leave the building.

All semester, whenever I've submitted a copy request, I've asked for the same quantity.  Well, recently I have noticed that my last class seems to run short on assignments, handouts, etc.  This is quite mysterious since my rosters haven't changed.  I don't understand it, but it has become a recurring problem.

This morning I remembered to be a little proactive...Before school started, I made my way to the copy room to make a few extra copies of an assignment for today so I wouldn't run into any problems during my last class.

The Copy Lady (as we reverently call her) was busy receiving money for students' lunch accounts.  The copy machine was printing something that I figured a teacher had sent to from their computer.  (Yeah, we've got one of those high-tech copy machines that function like a wireless printer.)  I put my original in the machine, punched 8, then hit start.  The machine spit out my copies.  I picked them up, walked over the paper-cutter & cut them in half.  (Don't worry, that was intentional.)  Then I punched holes in the papers so students can easily keep them in their binders.

As I approached the door, through the sea of students making sure they could eat today, another teacher had walked in.  I saw him approach the copy machine with a puzzled look on his face.  I heard him mumble something about how he often prints documents to this printer, but when he gets there, he can't find them.  I walked out the door.

Then I remembered the papers that were printing when I came in.

I walked back into the copy room.

Me:  Uhhhhh...I may have accidentally taken your copies...and cut them...and hole punched them...

I checked.  Yep.  There they were:  unfamiliar pages, cut in half, with holes in them.

Me:  I'm so sorry!  I just grabbed the papers off the machine and didn't even look at them before I slashed them!

Other Teacher:  (laughing)  Well, I guess they won't get a study guide!

Shoot.  What a rough way to start the day...And I thought I was so on top of things...