The funniest thing that ever happened to me in my entire life happened today. I'm not even kidding. THE FUNNIEST.
So I was working outside at the garage sale. We put all the furniture and big items outside, offering to sell on the spot before shoppers even entered. I spent 10 hours walking around, selling furniture, writing sold signs, and moving things around. I'm a little red from our sunny day.
At one point in the afternoon, I was the only person working outside for a few minutes. (This is the sad part of the story: I was unable to experience this with anyone.)
A young guy, maybe around 24ish, carrying a dirty towel started walking up toward the gym. I greeted him, as usual. Then I noticed that he was being followed...by a duck. So, without even thinking, I immediately said, You have a duck following you.
He responded: Yeah, is that okay?
Me: Oh, uhhh, yeah...as long as he doesn't go inside...
Duck Guy: Oh, no. He won't go inside.
After I tried to recover from this awkward situation, I let Duck Guy know that if he saw anything he wanted to let me know. I told him he could pay for it right there & I would mark it for him before he went inside. So, he told me he wanted a couch. We walked over to the couches, and by we I mean me, Duck Guy, and the duck. I'm not too convinced that he was really interested in a couch because he didn't even touch them, let a lone sit on one. Oh well.
Eventually Duck Guy found a couple of things that interested him. First he saw a vacuum cleaner. He asked if it worked, and I told him he could take it inside and plug it in to double check. As he considered this option, he said, Ok. Can you watch my duck?
Me, still slightly in shock: Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
What? Can I watch your duck?!?!? I said yes, but really I was thinking: What? Watch a duck? How do I watch a duck? How do I know if a duck is misbehaving? What do I do if it walks away? I'm not picking it up! I've never been so nervous to watch someone's duck before. Wait, what? Who has EVER watched a duck for someone else?
So, before going into the gym to check out the vacuum's sucking capability, he picked up the duck & said, I'll put him in the grass.
What? You'll put him in the grass? How is that helpful? He is a duck! How is putting a duck in the grass going to make my new duck-sitting gig any easier? Well, then he threw that dirty towel on top of the duck. He turned to me and said, He'll figure it out. Sometimes it takes him awhile.
As I'm watching the duck struggle to find his way out from underneath the towel, Duck Guy finds a grass seed spreader that he wants. He pays his $3, and I started to make a SOLD sign.
Me: Okay, what's your name?
Duck Guy: Philip. With 1 "L."
As I write "Philip" on the paper, I say: Okay, then I will put it over there while you go check out your vacuum inside.
A few seconds after he walked away, Duck Guy turns and says: Don't forget about the duck!
So here I am, standing in the parking lot full of furniture, and I realize that I am duck-sitting. None of my fellow volunteers are present to share this experience. So, I'm left to my own thoughts about how to make sure Philip is pleased with my care of his pet (or best friend maybe?). I continue talking with other customers about furniture. A few minutes later Philip returns, happily holding a functioning vacuum cleaner. He picked up the duck & brought him over to his other purchase. At this point a young girl asks Philip if she can pet his duck.
Philip: Yeah, he won't hurt you. His name is Burt.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THE DUCK'S NAME IS BURT?
At this point I had to walk away because I was dying!
Philip put the towel & Burt inside the grass seed spreader & started on his way. However, since the towel was keeping it from spinning well, the towel & Burt were ousted. So, just as before, Burt followed Philip to his car. As they were walking, other customers stopped what they were doing to gawk at the pair passing in front of them. One lady even verbalized what the rest of us were all thinking: Wait a minute; I have to watch this happen...
When Philip reached his car, he opened the hatch, put his purchases inside, then placed Burt next to them.
Well, now I can officially say I duck-sat.
For those of you who don't believe that this really happened, I wish I had a picture. I was just in too great of shock throughout the whole ordeal to even consider it.
So I was working outside at the garage sale. We put all the furniture and big items outside, offering to sell on the spot before shoppers even entered. I spent 10 hours walking around, selling furniture, writing sold signs, and moving things around. I'm a little red from our sunny day.
At one point in the afternoon, I was the only person working outside for a few minutes. (This is the sad part of the story: I was unable to experience this with anyone.)
A young guy, maybe around 24ish, carrying a dirty towel started walking up toward the gym. I greeted him, as usual. Then I noticed that he was being followed...by a duck. So, without even thinking, I immediately said, You have a duck following you.
He responded: Yeah, is that okay?
Me: Oh, uhhh, yeah...as long as he doesn't go inside...
Duck Guy: Oh, no. He won't go inside.
After I tried to recover from this awkward situation, I let Duck Guy know that if he saw anything he wanted to let me know. I told him he could pay for it right there & I would mark it for him before he went inside. So, he told me he wanted a couch. We walked over to the couches, and by we I mean me, Duck Guy, and the duck. I'm not too convinced that he was really interested in a couch because he didn't even touch them, let a lone sit on one. Oh well.
Eventually Duck Guy found a couple of things that interested him. First he saw a vacuum cleaner. He asked if it worked, and I told him he could take it inside and plug it in to double check. As he considered this option, he said, Ok. Can you watch my duck?
Me, still slightly in shock: Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
What? Can I watch your duck?!?!? I said yes, but really I was thinking: What? Watch a duck? How do I watch a duck? How do I know if a duck is misbehaving? What do I do if it walks away? I'm not picking it up! I've never been so nervous to watch someone's duck before. Wait, what? Who has EVER watched a duck for someone else?
So, before going into the gym to check out the vacuum's sucking capability, he picked up the duck & said, I'll put him in the grass.
What? You'll put him in the grass? How is that helpful? He is a duck! How is putting a duck in the grass going to make my new duck-sitting gig any easier? Well, then he threw that dirty towel on top of the duck. He turned to me and said, He'll figure it out. Sometimes it takes him awhile.
As I'm watching the duck struggle to find his way out from underneath the towel, Duck Guy finds a grass seed spreader that he wants. He pays his $3, and I started to make a SOLD sign.
Me: Okay, what's your name?
Duck Guy: Philip. With 1 "L."
As I write "Philip" on the paper, I say: Okay, then I will put it over there while you go check out your vacuum inside.
A few seconds after he walked away, Duck Guy turns and says: Don't forget about the duck!
So here I am, standing in the parking lot full of furniture, and I realize that I am duck-sitting. None of my fellow volunteers are present to share this experience. So, I'm left to my own thoughts about how to make sure Philip is pleased with my care of his pet (or best friend maybe?). I continue talking with other customers about furniture. A few minutes later Philip returns, happily holding a functioning vacuum cleaner. He picked up the duck & brought him over to his other purchase. At this point a young girl asks Philip if she can pet his duck.
Philip: Yeah, he won't hurt you. His name is Burt.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THE DUCK'S NAME IS BURT?
At this point I had to walk away because I was dying!
Philip put the towel & Burt inside the grass seed spreader & started on his way. However, since the towel was keeping it from spinning well, the towel & Burt were ousted. So, just as before, Burt followed Philip to his car. As they were walking, other customers stopped what they were doing to gawk at the pair passing in front of them. One lady even verbalized what the rest of us were all thinking: Wait a minute; I have to watch this happen...
When Philip reached his car, he opened the hatch, put his purchases inside, then placed Burt next to them.
Well, now I can officially say I duck-sat.
For those of you who don't believe that this really happened, I wish I had a picture. I was just in too great of shock throughout the whole ordeal to even consider it.
 |
| Burt looked kind of like this...only not as clean. |
Lisa I drove up as he was loading his stuff so you have a witness if you need one.
ReplyDeleteI'm dying. This is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteOh, my word! That's so funny! I didn't know we had a duck guy here in Sugar Grove!
ReplyDeleteI saw him recently at a traffic light...I think he might live in my neighborhood.
ReplyDelete