...a time to share stories...

Okay fellow teachers out there...Anyone have any funny stories to share?  If you have a story that made you laugh in the classroom this week, sometime this semester, or during the early days of teaching, send them my way!
While I am on break from school, I am out of stories.  Please share with us!
I will post your story, as long as it is funny and not incriminating, & you can decide if you want to be identified as the author or not.
It can be as short as one line or as long as one page--you decide!
Come on...It's a time to laugh...

...the rumors continue...

For some reason students seem intrigued by my personal life & this year is apparently the year for rumors to be spread around the building.  I mean, it's nothing malicious (that I've heard anyway), but I keep getting questions that start with, Is it true that...  Or being told, I heard that you...


Today I was walking through the hallway during a passing period and a girl was walking next to me & said, Miss O'Brien, (insert alias for student here) Chad told me the news.


Me:  What?  Chad who?


Girl:  Chad Jones.


Me:  Chad Jones?  What did he tell you?


Girl:  He told me you guys are engaged.  She has a smirk on her face.  Chad is a sophomore.

Me:  He told you what?


Girl:  He said you two are engaged!


Me:  What the heck?  He never even asked me!  How can he go around telling people we are engaged?


The girl with this breaking news walked away chuckling.  I'm not sure I even know the last time I saw Chad at school, let alone had a conversation with him.

What will they come up with next?

Hopefully the next one isn't so crazy...or creepy.

...teacher's pet...

Me:  There is an example on page 110...Thanks to everyone who is already taking out their book and turning to page 110 to look at the example.  Man, I really like you guys a lot...


Student 1 (with her book out, on page 110, looking for the example):  She loves me!


Student 2 (no book in sight):  She loves me not.

...corporate takedown...

It was a typical Monday afternoon at work.

Before last hour, I was standing outside my classroom, as usual.

A student stopped by to chat before going to his class, as usual.

Visitor:  Miss O'Brien!  You look like you are ready to fight!


Me:  Huh?  What do you mean?


Visitor:  You're wearing fightin' clothes!


Me:  Fighting clothes?


Visitor:  Yeah, you look like some business woman ready to take somebody down!


Turns out black high heel boots, gray dress pants, black sweater, blue fashion scarf, & big silver earrings are fighting clothes.

All this time I thought fighting clothes were tennis shoes, athletic shorts, ripped t-shirts, and boxing gloves.

What do I know?

...germ-ex...

Students are working on an assignment.

A student is smelling his hands.

I look at him as if to say, what are you doing?


He says, This is the first time I've used Germ-ex before lunch.


Then he smells his hands again and begins working on the assignment.