...chapped hands...

I was collecting papers from my students.
As I was taking a small stack from a student, she reached over and touched my hand.

Me (very casually):  What are you doin'?
Student:  What do you call that when you....It happens to your lips....Chapped!  I wanted to see if your hands are chapped, because I thought maybe they were, but they aren't.  They are really soft.
Me:  Oh-kay...
Student:  Why are you looking at me like I'm a creep or something?  It's not like I touched your arm or something!

...just another Friday...

1) Student is leaning his head back while sitting in his chair, arms flailing.  He is making weird noises while sticking his tongue out.  After starring for a moment, I ask, Are you okay?
Student:  I'm catching the snow.
Me:  Okay, you know that it's not snowing and that we're inside, right?


2) In the middle of me explaining something a student excited blurts out, Hey, today is the last day of February!
While I form a confused look, another student replies with, Today is JANUARY 28th!
Original student:  Oh....  Head goes down.
We continue with class.

3)  Again, while in the midst of class (apparently topics at hand are not interesting enough to capture full attention)....
Student:  You should be a nun!
I just pause, trying to formulate a response as I consider what he could possibly be implying about me with this statement.  Other students are apparently doing the same thing as I am as 26 faces turn to him with expectancy.
Student:  She has silky hair....
That is not at all one of the many directions my mind had gone in those few seconds.

...sweater...

Student:  Miss O'Brien, can I touch your sweater?

Me:  Quizzical look

Student:  Just the sleeve!

...time traveller...

In the midst of a class discussion....

Student:  Miss O'Brien, would you believe me if I told you I was a time traveller?

Me:  Yes.

Student:  [short pause] Oh, well I am.

...lotion party...

A little while ago a friend gave me a small bottle of lotion.  It smells pretty good (at first)....but it is a little too strong for her.  I mean, the scent just lingers.  I figured I would take it off her hands and apply it elsewhere.
You see, since my students frequently ask for lotion, I figured this would be an amusing way to get rid of, errrr, put the lotion to good use.
So, first hour today a young man asked for some lotion....Out came the bottle.  Soon I was walking around the room offering it to everyone.  At first it smells nice and seems like a good idea.  After a moment or two, the students quickly realize how potent it really is.  By this time it was too late...I am pretty sure there was only one student in the entire class that denied my offer of a little squirt of lotion.
I couldn't help but laugh at them...Of course the joke was kind of on me too because the scent permeated my classroom.
During the passing period I stood by my door as usual...But this time I had the lotion bottle in my hand and offered it to students as they passed by.  At one point a boy was walking by who regularly jokes around with me, so I just left a pink stream on his arm as he strolled past.  His response?  Oh, awesome!  I need lotion, can you put some on my other arm too?  Hahaha, surely he smelled like a girl (slightly grandma-ish) for the rest of the day.
Last hour a student who was one of my hallway victims came to class and exclaimed I STILL smell like that lotion!
The little bottle is officially half empty, well half full I guess.  At this rate, it could be gone tomorrow.

...color-blind...

My classroom is connected to another classroom by a door in the corner.  The teacher in the room that this door leads to is a Spanish teacher.  Every once in a while he will pop into my classroom to get some papers out of our printer, ask a question about a class, or something like that.  Often times when he comes in we will talk to each other in Spanish.  It certainly is not for the purpose of hiding our conversation from our students, seeing that 40% of our school's population is Hispanic.  We just do it.  (Usually we intentionally do not use a Latino accent to make it a little more entertaining.)

Today he opened the door, and as usual we began speaking in Spanish.  After he went back to his room a student said, He's white!  I don't understand why he is speaking in Spanish when he's white!

As another student attempted to explain that he is a Spanish teacher, he turned to me and yelled, Wait!  You're white too!

Hmmmm....was he just realizing this?

Maybe we are on our way to achieving the so-called color-blind mentality people talk about after all...

...mama...

A student's farewell greeting today:

You're my school mama.

...I am not a wrestler...

I like to show my support to school activities, so I ordered a wrestling T-shirt when spirit packs were available.
I wore it today (this is not the first time I've worn it).
Student:  Hey, you're not a wrestler!
Me:  You're right.

...average night at The Oasis...

The Oasis = My Home

...students are funny...

SOME AMUSEMENTS FROM THE FIRST DAYS BACK WITH STUDENTS:

Student:  If that was on Facebook, I would like it!

Two young men were in my room after school talking, but I wasn't really listening to their conversation.  Then I heard, You have to be 18 to be black.

Turns out they were talking about Martial Arts.

First hour, in the middle of class a student says, Miss O’Brien, I got you a Christmas present!

Me:  Yes!

Student: I didn’t wrap it…And I used it.  Do you still want it?

Me:  Of course!

A couple class periods later, I am standing by my door in the hallway & I saw him walking towards me.  He hands me a mug.  It says Dance, Love, Sing.  I can’t tell if it’s a joke or serious.  (I'm pretty sure it was sincere.)  I don’t know why he would give me something that encourages me to dance…He clearly doesn’t know about my lack of skill.  But I like it, and it fits well in my hand (I’m kind of a mug snob).

As the semester changes, some students' schedules change a little bit too.  One student was moved out of my class and into a section taught by another teacher.  So, when I see him in the hallway I usually ask him questions about how he's doing with the switch, if he needs tissues from all the crying, things like that.  At one point today he came into my classroom and said, Oh!  I miss the smell of your room!  I just need to smell it...He proceeded to smell the wall.  That's right; he smelled my wall.  Weird.


45 minutes into class a student says, Dude!  I'm the only black guy in this class!

One more....After school today I was asked to be a substitute cheerleading coach for their practice.  (Those of you who know me, don't get too excited, it was a one time deal.  The girls were surprised too.)  Since I wasn't in my room after school like usual, some students didn't quite know what to do with themselves.  One asked if he could join me in the cafeteria while I supervised the cheer practice.  At one point he had a roll of duct tape and was sticking tape to his face.  (Freshmen--sometimes there really is no explanation for their behavior.)  After taking it off of his upper lip he said, Look at my hair on this!  And I just shaved last week!

Oh, and don’t worry about me…I have a remote for my projector now.

...joy in the return...

Coming back to work/school after Christmas break (yeah, I still call it that even though the schools don't) is rarely something that teachers, nor students, look forward to.  I had been spoiled with the ability to stay up late, sleep in, work-out, watch sermons online, chat on Facebook, go out for coffee (aka tea) or meals with various people, read several books, and more.  I wasn't really excited to return to work.  (This is where all of you who have jobs that do not involve the school system can say something like Welcome to the reality of the rest of us who don't get to take all of that time off.)

In the midst of my reluctance, however, I have enjoyed several moments of amusement.

A FEW TIDBITS FROM OUR DAY OF MEETINGS:

Our first meeting started out with an activity in which our groups had to answer true/false questions on the topic of homework.  Before beginning, these questions were referred to as ponderous questions.  Not having heard anyone use the term ponderous before, I questioned whether it is indeed a word.  So, knowing I would be unable to concentrate with this burning question in my mind, I grabbed my laptop and immediately opened my Dashboard and took advantage of the dictionary widget.  This is what I found:  ponderous--slow and clumsy because of great weight.  I immediately shared this definition with another teacher in the group next to me who was also questioning this word choice.  We got a good chuckle out of it....I think maybe you had to be there...

Before beginning the true/false activity, this same teacher said One cough for true, two coughs for false.  I readily agreed to this plan...for the benefit of both of our groups of course.  So, after each question was revealed, one of us would cough accordingly and the other would respond with their cough(s).  Before answering the last question, which was clearly true, I heard cough cough.  I looked over, surprised, & the response was a startled Oh no!  That was real!  Take it back, take it back!  Cough. (changed to defeated tone) I never was good at cheating.

A couple more amusing quotes from the day:  

That was like a 70's acid flash back!

We are running a little bit of late.

Could you explain to me what Guided Reading Notes are, is?

I came back to my classroom from the meetings to find something very exciting for a nerdy teacher like me...My projector had been mounted to my ceiling!  I was so excited that I ran, errr, walked quickly, across the hall to share the exciting news.  When I returned I noticed a couple of things.  1) I did not have a remote, so I could not use my projector, considering my lack of height.  2) I used to have my projector and document camera on a cart in the front of the room (also home to the laptop for the sake of projection).  Well, that is no longer necessary with the projector suspended from the ceiling and cords run to my desk.  However, I currently have a cord hanging from the ceiling in the front of my room with absolutely no purpose.  I guess it's the thought that counts.

...I am a celebrity...

I went out to dinner with a friend tonight.  We were at a restaurant two towns east from where I teach.  When I was enjoying my raspberry iced tea, and waiting for our meals to arrive, I got this feeling that I was being watched.  Have you experienced this, where you just know someone is looking at you?  (How does that even happen anyway?)

I looked towards the door, and there were three students from my school starring at me.  When these teenage boys realized that I saw them, they physically responded.  You know, like shrinking back into themselves communicating "Aw man, she saw us!"

I lifted my hand to give them a quick, stiff wave from across the crowded room.  Despite their apparent embarrassment from being spotted, they responded with hearty, over-the-head waves.

I am a celebrity.  I can't even go out to dinner without being recognized and spied upon.

I anticipate a conversation next week that goes something like this:

Student:  Miss O'Brien, I saw you at Red Robin.

Me:  I know, I saw you too.

Student:  Who were you with?  She was pretty cute!  (or other descriptor I'm not comfortable hearing my students use in reference to my friends)

Me:  She's too old for you kid, so it doesn't matter.

Student:  Awwww, come on!